Sunday, January 19, 2014

Criticisms of People with the Last Name of Ham

I am a no good ham-stuffed pig of a person! Get it? My last name is Ham, and I said ham-stuffed pig of a person? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha—I crack myself up! ... Uh oh, look, my arm just fell off due to the cracking. I am falling apart. Hmmm, what other names can I use to make fun of me?

Of course, there is WeirdHamster—my official nickname. It is official because I typed it in a blog post just now—therefore, it is official. There are other names that can be made up from the last name of Ham. Some which have been made up by others to refer to me or others like me (that is, those with the last name of Ham). Hamster or hambone tend to be popular ones, but there are many, many options.

For example, here are some following options: smoked ham, hot ham, boneless ham, bitter ham, tasteless ham, fake ham, turkey ham (which is really yummy by the way). cool ham, sappy ham (not sure why tree sap would be in ham but whatever—oh, I guess there might be such a thing as maple ham), shaved ham, sliced ham, chopped ham, hammy ham, and the list goes on.

So where I am going with this? Well soon I might go to the food store because I am getting hungry. I wonder what I would buy ... Hmmm, I could buy some ... HAM! Excuse me, Mr. Checkout Person, I want to buy myself. Why? Because my last name is Ham! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! So funny!!!

Have people ever made fun of the last name of Ham before? Why yes they have. Not necessarily to me (though I have a terrible memory), but I have seen it done. I have seen it done mostly as a joke and laughing with the person, but I have also seen it done as a serious criticism—they actually tried to use it to make the person feel bad (because they had nothing good to argue with so all they were left with was name calling). But who can feel bad with the name of Ham? Ha ha! it is funny!!! Please do not say my last name, as I might just burst out laughing in front of you and that might be awkward.

So anyway, where was I? Oh, that is right, HAM! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, I just thought of a new name. I was thinking about maniacal laugh because the Muppets are cool, and if you do not know what I am typing about, then you are missing out. Sorry. So what about maniacal ham?!?!?! Ha! The combination of two funny things make one extremely, absolutely hilarious thing! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! Maniacal ham... maniacal ham. Ha ha! It works! I like it!

And so, I will leave you with the best criticism of the last name Ham of all. Maniacal ham! Oh yeah.

TTFN. Ta ta for now,


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