Pages

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

What to Do When You Run Out of Deodorant?

This has probably happened to you as well, but my deodorant recently ran out. Yes, the deodorant became alive, grew legs, and ran out. So what happens when this seemingly impossibility happens to you? Running after it could be embarrassing because of the sweating and stink—the very things the deodorant is used to protect against. Of course, now one might realize why the deodorant ran out in the first place—who wants to protect anyone against sweat and stink?! What to do now? One possibility is buying some more but there are some potential problems with this depending on the person:
  • The deodorant might run out again.
  • Too lazy to physically go to the store to buy some.
  • Lack of memory to remember to buy some when present at the store.
  • The deodorant is expensive.
  • The store does not have the nice smelly deodorant you want, and you are picky.
  • The store only has antiperspirant deodorants, and you are overly concerned about the metals or other elements in the them.
  • No need for deodorant because of a overconfidence in the human body to produce nice smells—this usually does not last long though.
  • A lack of belief in the existence of deodorant—of course, this is foolish thinking.
What are things to do in place of deodorant if these problems are too big to overcome to buy more? Where here are some possibilities:
  • Put deodorant on your birthday or Christmas wish list—people might be more than willing to buy you some.
  • Have a shower morning and evening, and when you use the restroom, not only wash your hands but also your armpits. For those who never wash your hands, why do you even care about deodorant then? Also, please never shake my hand if that is the case.
  • Put on so much cologne that it is all everyone smells around you. Yes, they will be annoyed at you, but at least they do not smell your sweat and you do not have a bad stink—just a bad good stink.
  • Use any remnants left behind by the deodorant and hope for the best.
  • Avoid people and put up with your own stink.
  • Explain to people that you are using a new deodorant that only people with privileged noses can smell the deodorant and if you only smell stink, then your nose is not privileged and you should hide that fact in shame. Of course, this condones lying, which I do not recommend. However, it does not remove the fact that this is an option, but it will probably end poorly as most (if not all) lying does.
There are more possibilities for deodorant replacements, but I will leave those up to you. While writing this, a very kind person bought me some deodorant (and I did not even put it on my birthday or Christmas wish list), so I am going to lock up my deodorant so it does not run away again. Of course, I will use it first.

WeirdHamster