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Saturday, August 10, 2013

"Good Morning!" And Other Pointless Greetings

Good morning! Or is it? Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space may have had it right when he stated, "It is a morning, but its goodness escapes me." Of course, Dr. Smith and I have something in common. We are not morning people.

In fact, I am not even sure what a morning person would look like. Would they look like a sunrise and smell like dew? Typing of which, I do not believe I have ever smelled dew. How can water on plants and things smell? Then again, I have never studied the subject, so maybe the answer is obivous.

Moreover, I am not even sure why it is necessary when greeting people to declare the morning as good. What purpose does it serve? It only reminds the non-morning people that they are awake when they should be back in bed, and if you declare good morning to a morning person, they already agree with you, so why state it?

While I am on this subject, do you ever find it awkward when someone asks you, "How are you?" Then you respond to the question only to find they were not actually wanting an answer—they were really just using it as a greeting. Perhaps we should start by greeting people with an answer to the "How are you?" question before they even have the chance to ask it.

Picture it like this: In the morning, Billy Bob walks up to a person and says, "Good!" (Of course, Billy Bob is not really feeling good because he is not a morning person, but that is one of the standard answers to the question even if the world is crumbling around you.) So the person, who was about to say, "How are you?" (however, just as a greeting) is confused and a little dazed. With that, the bewildered person asks Billy Bob, "What?" Billy Bob has gotten the person to ask a question to which they really want an answer!

Some people ask, "What's up?" as a greeting as well, but why do people want to know what is above me? There are usually so many options too—like the "next level," "roof," "clouds," "birds," "sky," or my favorite, "new heights."

Maybe we should simply stick to saying, "Hello," or something similar. Now what is the point of greetings? It seems to be an announcement of your presense or an acknowledgement of the other person's presense. For example, what if you started your conversation without announcing your presense? People might get so shocked, not having acknowledged your presense due to your lack of announcing it, that people who are usually morning people might even become non-morning people.

Okay, so I have taken up most of this morning in which I have woken up too early writing this blog post, so I had better publish it now. Hello!

Weirdhamster

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