Thursday, December 30, 2010

In My Plain Opinion

The philosophy of weird has many applications. One application is on normal phrases that we say. Ever hear of the phrase "in my humble opinion"? Have you ever thought it was rather ironic that some people need to put the word "humble" in there as if it was not obvious enough?

Stating your humbleness seems to be what some non-humble people would do. I am not meaning that anyone who adds "humble" to this phrase is being prideful, but it definitely does not help.

Telling someone that we are humble hardly makes it so. How about we just state our opinion and strive to be humble in what we say and do? Not many would ever say, "in my prideful opinion." They are either prideful or not. So let us be either humble or not.

We should be weird and stop following the world's standard phrases; instead, we can make our own! Or we can add our own flare to the standard phrases to make them worthy of saying.

In my plain opinion (like when you ask for a plain hamburger), adding "humble" to "in my opinion" just ruins it. Just like how adding American cheese to a plain hamburger ruins the hamburger. I know, I bet that is a bad comparison for some, but it does work for me. I would encourage you to find your own comparison for weird's sake.

There you have it. I hope this application of weird was helpful. Time to begin thinking above, below, or around the box! (Or as normal people would say, "outside of the box.")


Monday, December 20, 2010

The Most Unpopular Blog Ever

I strive to write blog posts that match my thinking (or lack thereof) with the goal of doing something that most would not, which is why I am striving for the most unpopular blog ever.

What is the criteria of the most unpopular blog ever? I think one of them might just be when my own page views of the blog post are easily greater than that of other page views, which so happens to be the case.

So far, reactions to my blog has been consistent: people roll their eyes, tell me I am weird, laugh at me rather than with me, etc. Most would not like this type of attention. They would say it is weird to want this. Therefore, this is exactly why I do what I do.

Being different is better than being like everyone else; as I have said and typed many times before, if everyone were the same, this world would be a boring place. Most think weird is generally a bad thing. However, I will take it as a compliment anytime.

So do I have the most unpopular blog ever? Probably not when comparing stats, as I am not sure are blogs out there that even have lower stats than mine. Although, stats are not the only criteria. Unpopular can also mean other things, like being laughed at or being called weird. Weird being a good thing is definitely unpopular.

Whether or not I have gained the most unpopular blog ever remains to be seen, but it is still my goal no matter what. If weird caught on and everyone wanted unpopular blogs, then it would become the norm, and I would have to change my strategy. I challenge anyone to dare to be weirder than I am!


Sunday, December 19, 2010

I Do Not Know What to Write

I was thinking I should write a blog post before I go to bed, but I am not sure what to write it on. How does one come up with ideas or topics? Is it random chance or deliberate thought? Maybe neither. Maybe I need a sledge hammer to knock some sense into me.

This reminds me of a Curly Howard quote: "I am trying to think but nothing happens!" Curly Howard is one of my role models. (You should all realize that he was one of the Three Stooges, and if you do not, then I think you should do cartwheels until you do realize.)

Curly was actually smart. He did not need to think to come up with ideas! You may say he came up with stupid ideas, but I say he came up with weird ones. His ideas were different. If everyone had the same ideas, then this world would be a boring place.

Nevertheless, I still at a loss on what to write about. Should I try to be funny or sad? Should I tell everyone that I just realized that my invisible friend is not actually real? Well, if I did, then I would be lying because I always knew he was not real. Oh excuse me one second, I need to talk to my invisible enemy...

My invisible enemy just told me that he killed my invisible friend. I tried to tell him that my invisible friend was never real, but then he showed me the invisible blood. To which I replied that I could not see it, but then he called me a truth teller. Then I said that I was not, but then realized that I thought he said liar. He caught me, and said that he knew I was lying. I tried to tell him that he tricked me, but he would have none of it. So he said my punishment would be that he would become my friend. If I have friends like that, then who needs enemies? Considering my invisible enemy is now my friend.

Oh well, anyway, I still have no idea what to write about, so I am just going to go to bed. I hope you all have weird dreams. (After this blog post, I would not doubt it.)


Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Philosophy of "Birthdays"

My last blog post was on November 10, which is the "birthday" of my brother Nathan. However, I did not mention that it was his "birthday" in my blog post, and my brother commented, "You wrote a blog on my birthday and did not mention my birthday??"

Did I do the unthinkable and forget his "birthday"? Or is there some underlying reason why I did not mention his "birthday"? Maybe there is a conspiracy theory behind me not mentioning his "birthday." Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that I use quotes every time I am write "birthday."

First, we should define "birthday." However, I refuse to look at a dictionary. This will be my definition, the way I see it. "Birthdays," according to everyone else, are the anniversary of the day of one's birth.

Although, when I see the word "birthday," I do not automatically think anniversary. I think "birth" and "day," which reminds me of the day when we were born. One's "birthday" only happens once. I would suggest a better term would be "ageday." The words "age" and "day" would remind us that we get a year older, which would remind us of our "birthday"—when it all started. I wonder, however, if we called it "ageday," would anyone want to celebrate?

In other words, "birthdays" only happen once: when we are born. If you want "birthday" to refer to an anniversary, you need to say "birthday anniversary." So if the day you are born is your "birthday," then what are the other days called? The other days are your "unbirthday," of course!

I believe that everyone should celebrate unbirthdays. That way, we could be happy every single day, rather than just being happy on our birthday anniversary. (I did not put birthday in quotes this time, as I believe, if you have any reading comprehensive at all, that you should remember how I define birthdays in the previous paragraph.) If you happen to see me wishing you an unbirthday around the time of your birthday anniversary, now you know why.

Now on to why I did not mention Nathan's "birthday" (I am quoting birthday now, as I was quoting Nathan's use of the term). Why did I not mention his "birthday"? After all, the blog post was on "What Is Going On," and I knew Nathan celebrated his "birthday" that day, so it was something that was going on. My answer to what is going on in my blog post was that "nothing was going on."

The truth is that I was being truthful. God wants everyone to be truthful, you know. Nathan's birthday, according to my definition, happened a very long time ago, so his birthday was really not happening (nothing was, indeed, happening). It still boggles my mind why Nathan, or anyone else for that matter, thinks he is born every year. I refuse to celebrate a birthday for someone more than once. Now if you wanted to celebrate your "ageday" or "birthday anniversary," then that is a different matter, and I would be very willing to celebrate it with you. Unless I do not like you, then I would not be willing.

Now you may ask, so you deliberately did not mention anything about his "birthday" because of the reason in the previous paragraph? Well, not really; though, I do think it is a good reason, but the reason I did not mention it was because I did not think of it as I was writing my blog post. However, if I did think of it, I probably would have wished him a happy unbirthday to stress that it is not his birthday! So I guess I should apologize.

In conclusion, I think everyone should have lunch now. Why? Because I think I should have lunch, and that is the only thing on my mind right now. You might say that I never have anything on my mind, ever. I would not debate you on this, as you might very well be right. However, this does not change the fact that I think I am thinking lunch.


(Also, if anyone wants to come over and shovel my driveway, you are more than welcome. In fact, you are so welcome that I will let you say "hello" to me when you are done.)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What Is Going On?

I have not posted on this blog in awhile, and you probably have not been wondering what is going on, which is exactly the reason I am writing this. Nothing has been going on.

You may say that is impossible because even if you are doing nothing, you are, indeed, doing something. To which I would reply, "Yes, you are correct, but I am weird. Therefore, I am doing nothing." I can do nothing as a result of my weirdness.

Weirdness is the power of being different. Differences can be good, and being able to do nothing has its advantages (being just plain cool for one). For example, this blog post is actually amounts to nothing. This means as I wrote this blog post, I was not doing something—I was doing nothing!

Think about it, have you actually gained something from this post? You may say, "Yes, that you are weird!" I would agree with that, but that weirdness power is just been seen through my ability to do nothing. So yeah.